torn between two options

So last time I guess I left you hanging on whether or not I would fill you in on my secret. I had ultimately decided I would keep it to myself until I read a comment posted by Carri. Now I am torn between what I should do. I don't want people to think that I am being selfish in keeping this to myself but am worried about what you will think of me. I guess I should just come right out and say it out loud in writing. As you have all noticed I have lost a little bit of weight, well the reason behind it is I have an eatting disorder. I am anorexic and bulimic. yes you can be both. Don't ask me why I have resorted to something so stupid because I don't really think I could give you an answer. I have been working on and and have made some progress. the good side of it is that I am no longer the fat one of the family, or the one who everyone worries about on hikes that I will have a heart attack. as for being in shape I am not that. I have been trying to do better on that end but it is harder than the path I have chosen. My family and my kids know about this but do not know the seriousness of the problem. Dan has been trying his hardest to help me and you would all be so proud of him for his efforts. So anyway I feel like I am just jabbering so I will let you all absorb my honesty and think of me how you may. I just hope that you don't judge me for bad decisions. remember I love you all no matter what. so have a good day and I hope to hear from you soon.